What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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