Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
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