Umm I'm too high to move.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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