Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize