Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
