he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Randomize
