Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Randomize
