she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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