Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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