So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
It's Friday. Sex?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
