it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
