Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
