Sponge bath it is.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
