i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
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