if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
