NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
