can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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