doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
