there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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