oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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