wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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