I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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