my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
