It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Randomize
