You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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