i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Every concussion has its silver lining
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
