At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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