im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
