I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
