if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
