well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
operation harelip BJ is a go
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
