Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
