I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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