Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
