I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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