He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
