she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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