scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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