He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
