Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I think I just sharted jello shots
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