and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
