1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
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