My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
