i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
