i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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