if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
