Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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