Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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