It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
