do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize
