Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
