he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
