careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize