tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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