He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Randomize
