he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Send help, water and tortillas.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
