I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
