sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
