As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
